#but this was extremely funny to me so thanks for that

[lsunstreakerl]

Okay, I know I’m SUPERRRR late to fmf, but that means I have a LOT of thoughts!!!!

Lowkey insane that Jos thought it would be a good idea to not tell Max his role, like surely he could have done something. Even if it was just putting the note in his chest or smth

Rico instantly staking his claim on Max w that GORGEOUS cloak is so funny to me, he hasn’t even met the guy and he wants to show him off to everyone.

Rico instantly pulling Max up when he tried to bow down made me FERAL, like I’m a lesbian but I think I want some of him too. It was just way too cute, how dare he

I want to be upset at Max for not realising, especially after seeing his MASSIVE fucking room, but like. Who assumes they’re being married off.

Again with Rico and the damn clothes, instantly throwing his cloak over Max’s shoulders as he watched his princess get accustomed with the guards, too terribly furiously cute. Even better when Rico is probably used to much warmer weather than Max so Rico has just made himself cold for no other reason than to make Max even warmer

I know that ‘kill him’ had Rico going insane. Probably used it as motivation to get everything done and go home.

Max is so fucking insane, it is so unregular to go up to what he thinks is basically his boss, with no other attachments and caress his chest, I don’t care that it saved his life, nobody else knew that then!!!

Max unfortunately girlbossed way too close to the sun. Good on him for killing Sadik, but RIP Queen get better soon.

Rico freaking the fuck out in his POV is so funny to me. He’s worried about Max, mean while Max is tearing his #1 enemy to shreds, confusing everyone and THEN passing out #queenbehaviour

GP to the rescue once again, thank god SOMEONE got it sorted out (I’m also like thrilled you didn’t decide to make the reveal some massive thing that would have given me insane amounts of second hand embarrassment, because I can deal with a lot, but not that.)

Rico doing his bandages 💞💞💞💞😭😭😭😭

Gently moving him onto his chest when Max falls asleep because he’s being too tender, and you’re telling me these two will be fucking nasty soon????? The duality of man.

Do you… uhm… do you have any measurements on that thing… like… you know… just how big.

Omg literally stop it, one of those arms are injured, which means he’s either letting Max sleep on his injured bicep (btw, very hot) or he’s brandishing out a sword with his hurt arm to protect Max AND subconsciously covering him, I literally love him so much he’s such a cutie.

Ofc Max takes absolutely no convincing to go back to sleep, esp when he can be curled into a man twice his size.

I LOVED IT 💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞

I LOVE IT SO MUCH I LOVE YOUR WRITING ITS SO GOOD IT LITERALLY DRAWS ME IN SO MUCH ITS SO CRAZY!!!!!!

Also!!! I am VERY on board with Pussy potion!!!!! (And maybe it would be a good excuse for Rico to pull out some of his very sexy hand tj hand combat moves after Max drugged/spiked/potioned/pussied/mutated/gene therapised??)

Love you so much queen, get through your finals!!!💞💞💞💞💞💞

you've unlocked a massive yap from me I am so sorry!!

it's not like they call him "Verstappen the Foward Thinking" or anything 😭 he just didn't want to have to say it to max. and then he actually lost the letter, so.

rico is SUCH a wife guy and fmf really just takes that to the extreme. like yeah he's gonna have it commissioned for his beautiful wife who totally knows what's going on- why wouldn't he??

he wants them to be partners!! it's a really big theme that I showcase in his POV's. him and max being as close to equals as possible is incredibly important to him- he doesn't want another yes man, he wants someone he can trust to lead with him. (and in case of emergency, like in the fic, without him as well.) max being so proficient in combat helps on that front as well- they really are evenly matched.

EXACTLY LIKE HOW WAS HE GONNA THINK MARRIAGE 😭 that is not where most people's minds go. especially when you think about the fact that the north is somewhat renowned for the combat skills of their soldiers, and it's well known that the kingdom was having struggles in the east. it really does sort of make sense from his prospective to assume he's being called up to train soldiers.

yes, you are correct that rico made himself colder and max warmer for no reason other than to send the castle gossip mill into an absolute tizzy. (he forgot to consider max is used to much colder temps- just saw that his new consort was outside without any protection and wanted to fix it.)

"kill him" played in his brain on loop. even though it was max who ended up handling things, it's still incredibly hot to rico, who's used to hearing all sorts of variations on "good luck" and "stay safe". max doesn't say any of those things, because up north it's not part of their cultural norms- wishing good luck is seen as telling someone their raw skill isn't enough, and asking someone to stay safe is stupid, because everyone gets hurt eventually. in max's eyes, the most supportive thing he can do is reinforce rico's purpose for leaving- the "kill him" is meant both literally and in the sense of "succeed at what you're leaving to do, and then come home."

max very much hesitated before he gave rico the hide!! not just because it reveals a vulnerability that max himself has exploited before, but also because it's an incredibly difficult material to get ahold of. but he knows saddik is going to be a formidable enemy, and if max and his people have noticed the flaw in the kingdom armor, there's a chance rico's real enemies have as well. max may not be aware of his position as consort at that time, but he's realizing that rico is a good leader, and max doesn't want to be stuck in the castle during a power vacuum if rico were to die. (also, he gets to feel up the hot king. fun bonus!) little does he know he's actually allowed to do that all the time

getting stabbed twice is honestly a pretty good outcome for going up against saddik. most people end up dead! max is much quicker than saddik is expecting- the style of fighting his soldiers use is particularly vulnerable to the speedy style that northern soldiers are trained in, which is why his men fall so easily to max's scouts (seen in the first rico POV). also, max is insane enough to get stabbed and keep going.

max doing all that and then still being confused despite having all the context clues on a silver platter is incredibly on brand. like babes, the king's archenemy just called you a consort and a bed warming whore, what kind of combat advisor position could you possibly think that is 😭

I would never have written it as a grand reveal or some huge thing to a bunch of people! the secondhand embarrassment would've gotten to me as well lmao. besides, it's much more on brand for max to realize quietly and then try and adapt- the same way he didn't know what his position was (and instead tried to figure it without asking). also, it's embarrassing. he's not bringing it up unless he absolutely has to. (or when gp is teasing him)

redoing his bandages and letting max sleep on him <333 love them. also was super fun to write from both POV's because max is like "oh god I'm having horny thoughts about the king- and I'm literally here so we can fuck-" and rico is like "wifey hurt :( but wow the body is incredible." and then both of them assuming the other is being Normal and Not Horny about it. (they totally could've fucked)

big.

yes!! max is sleeping on his uninjured arm, so he's holding the (heavy) sword with his (injured) arm, while also hiding max's wound, while also not really being awake yet. the husband of all time <3

max essentially being like "fuck it, since apparently we're getting married- why the hell not." and going back to bed is incredibly real of him. but with a pillow as cozy as rico, you can't really blame him.

highly illegal pussy potion does come with some varied side effects as the recipients body literally reconfigures itself, so there's. a minor freakout there. rico goes a little crazy. (mostly because it looks like a poisoning at first.)

thank you for reading and loving it so much and leaving such a wonderful comment!!! it's always so much fun for me to see all the little details and chunks that you all like the most <3 I'm having lots of fun with fmf and hopefully getting some new riders on the ver2 train- and they deserved a dedicated chapter fic.

finals continue to final. when does it end.

[rei-ismyname]

X-Men #16 review

AKA Magneto takes dexies

Fuck me, this book has had 16 issues, though if you asked me for an elevator pitch I'd have to say 'problems keep happening, except in the snow.' This latest snow problem arc feels like it's picking up the pace, but it covers maybe 5 minutes of their life. It's exciting - fake X-Men, a fight with bad guys, and Magneto taking drugs - but you can only run on 90/10 setup/payoff for so long before it drags. If nothing else, hot Magneto is back and full of drugs! 💊🧲

'Nuh uh, it's MY treehouse.'

Last issue ended with Cassandra Nova whispering in a new mutant's ear and these jerkoffs showing to rumble. The Santo Marco six, 3K mutants we last saw fifteen issues ago. As I said then, it's great that the 3K plot is starting to move but so much has happened since then that I forgot why anyone cares. This issue spends a fair amount of time basically reintroducing them because I'd imagine most readers are like Temper - 'who?' That's taking a little too long to get back to them IMO - this isn't the X-Files where the breadcrumbs are a given. Anyway, they want to be the X-Men for some reason, so the two teams fight. IDK why Scott wouldn't offer them a job interview or something, he looks like a big mean jerk. Yeah, I said it!

Magik and Juggernaut the bash bros are all about it, amping up their previous blood knight act. Cain no shit makes a Jack and the Beanstalk reference but it doesn't really land. Scott tries to remind his violent kids that the Twin is rampaging but they don't hear. The Twin seems like their heart just isn't in it as Cassandra Nova eggs them on. Getting huge Chuck vibes from her lol.

It's a bit jarring for Scott to shut the fake X-Men down so totally then be like 'wait, the twin.' He knows Magik wants their heads and that she and Cain are like this now. He set the example by being standoffish, what did he think would happen? I think I'm still hoping we'll follow up on Scott's mental health issues, but I guess Logan cured him with stabbing and I'm looking for something that isn't there. Still, with two psychics on the team it's something that could have been addressed - even if it's 'I'm doing okay right now thanks.' Leaving any longer to follow up and it'll feel like... round two of a fight from fifteen issues ago. Significant, but wayyyy too long between beers.

Beast calling Mags a shit father is 👌👌👌

Cyke multitasks like a champ and mobilises the factory crew. Mags and Beast hinted at a prosthetic for the ailing elder mutant last issue, though he looks a lot fucking healthier right now. I've been very open about my extreme distaste for R-LDS, and that hasn't changed. Dexies. Dextroamphetamine-x, so mutant dexies - as a temporary solution is ridiculous and pretty funny. Beast just whipping up drugs is becoming a regular enough thing, but dexies, really? Mutant ADD medication? It makes R-LDS look silly-er. I'll come back to this in a separate post for now let's enjoy Magneto shooting up speed and see what it does.

Wooooo! Tight, tight, tight tight tight!

HAHA! My dude is amped up, levitating syringes and billowing his cape. Hook this man up with an IV. I hesitate to say 'Magneto is back' but it is nice to see the Master of Magnetism flex like that. Now go throw some vehicles around, old man. I know you want to.

Not sure what to make of Beast's facial expression there. We can cross 'uncomplicated joy' off the list, that's for sure. Maybe 'should I really be giving Magneto amphetamines? I was in the Defenders, man.' Yes, he should. Hook the whole squad up.

Maybe not Magik...

SPLASH PAGE! Scott orders Psylocke to take out the speedster first, but I think he's been hanging around Hank too much. 'Accelerated physiology' - Scott deserves that knockdown. The action is bombastic and kinetic with handy visual keys to show who what kind of power and how it interacts with our A team. That's a counterbalance to the sheer busyness of the scenes , though I'm not sure it's enough. The pop cartoon style clashes a little with the cinematic panels they're going for here, showing most of the 'what' in a vacuum.

As a whole I find it difficult to tell where each respective exchange is happening. Following the speedster tells a coherent linear narrative, at least - taking out Scott, struggling with Psylocke and handing off to The Vore, then getting blasted by Scott. I wonder where Piper, Xorn, and Quentin are?

Woof! If these clowns want to be X-Men they need better banter. Anyone shouting 'The Juice is loose' in battle deserves to get pounded, FR. Honestly, everyone looks like they're having fun, not like they're looking to kill each other. It's very flashy but I feel like the guy in the bottom left panel - '?' There's the feeling that this fight is not intended to have a conclusion, that it's a showcase for design and dynamics. It's possible to have both, I'm sure of it. Somebody get hurt!

Oh bloody hell the X-Men are getting in on it too, with the embarrassing one liners. I do like cosmic energy guy's design though. Is their leader dabbing? Cassandra Nova must be so embarrassed. I guess THE VORE didn't eat Psylocke's brain or whatever. The unserious vibes the fight carries makes sense considering they're trying to stall the X-Men, but it pulls me out the moment and it makes the X-Men look like chumps. Get a handle on your guys and lead, Scotty!

There we go. This guy - I'm going to call him Bighorns - accepts the chance to regroup when Scott calls it. They want to be X-Men, apparently. With that 'Here Comes Tomorrow' you might even say they want to be New X-Men. There's a set-up for an ideological discussion here - I wonder if they'll go for it. Valid points are being made, kinda. Only one team works for the genocide lady who treats people like lab rats, but the X-Men have mile-wide chinks in their armour to call out. I doubt it, but you never know.

While the action figures have been smashing into each other, The Twin has reached the town. Magneto is dexied up, controlling the Wild Sentinel he and Scott trashed before the series started. That's where we end - with the two teams talking but inherently opposed and Magneto the only thing in between Merle and destruction. Piper around somewhere, Quentin is presumably still knocked out, and Xorn is ... where did he go? Looking for Quentin still, I guess?

In the introduction I flagged the pacing as illusively slow, and looking at this issue as well as zooming out I think it sticks out more than ever. At the end of last issue the Twin was heading for the town, the two X-Men teams were having a tense face-off, while Xorn searched for Quentin off panel. At the end of the issue the X-Men have said hello, the Twin walked a few hundred meters, and Mags took some medication.

He amped up but hasn't actually done anything. Nobody has, really. A 12 mutant brawl happened but nobody's hurt and they're back to where they started. There's just a hint of payoff here, a teaspoonful - enough to taste the flavour but not very filling. Staying on the Magneto example - #15 showed him asking for medication, #16 he took it and did a pose, and #17 presumably he'll interact with The Twin. Or maybe not. The twin, on the other hand, took 3 issues to walk to town. She stopped and started a lot, but it was in service of the choice 'destroy town Y/N?' She keeps choosing yes, urged on by Cassandra Nova, but we know that Merle isn't getting destroyed. They're probably not going to kill a child either, and that's a source of tension at least.

I'm not sure if it will be any better in the trade without serious editing. The start and end of each issue bleed into each other, so it's going to feel downright repetitive. At least we're getting further away from Raid and Chuck Hunt with every step, I just wish they'd pick up the pace. The line work is tight as always, the inks pop - contrasting brightly off the snowy backdrop, each character model is distinct and dynamic - but the choreography and blocking was flat for me. Being able to tell where people are in relation to each other is crucial, and the fight looked like the shadow of fierce without the sincerity.

I'd recommend it for the Magneto content alone, but everything tastes great when you're starving. I'm sympathetic to the rigor of double shipping in a hostile creative environment, but it's been sixteen issues. There's been bursts of brilliance like the Lundquist and Scott scenes but too much padding and repetition. The best scenes shine brightly, so it's not a talent deficit. It'd be nice to have a few excellent issues consecutively, you know? I feel like I say that, or something like it, every review. Hmm, I don't want to be repetitive, let's check out how my peers in X-Men reviewing are handling it.

...

Most sites stopped reviewing this book halfway through Raid on Graymalkin - even AIPT, who review everything positively. Looks like I'm on my own there. Fuck it - adjectiveless X-Men is fun enough - I just know that the team can do better. Thanks for reading.

[inquisitornocturn]

For RTAppreciationWeek I decided to just namedrop some people who make the fandom feel a welcoming space and who have been a blast to interact with in one way or another

Thank you all! And in no particular order:

@jaal-ama-daravv for not only hosting the exchange but being extremely patient and holding my hand when I decided to partake. And for being a goodhearted person overall♡

@mscoet/@misscoet for being an amazing friend in every aspect possible and just a wonderful soul to laugh with and talk 40k with. And of course your drawings are just sublime, your art enriches not only the fandom but the world♡

@vossn/@vossprime for being an incredibly funny dude who's a delight to chat with about irl stuff or 40k lore. And of course for brainstorming all kinds of RT stuff♡

@blesby for making me like Marazhai a little more through drawings alone (lol) and for being extremely encouraging. The artistic expression that I see in Bles' art is so refreshing♡

@squiddyshroomies for being who they are unapologetically and for hyping up other people in the fandom while creating with so much passion it's truly inspiring♡

@holylustration for being an inviting and welcoming soul in all things RT related, without shying away to spare a good word or two even if it's not fandom related♡

@annahenriart for being a kindhearted person and for drawing so insanely well. A true treasure to the fandom, no matter which one (and on a sidenote - your solavellan art made me appreciate the ship much more even if I don't go there myself)♡

@redstairs for reading when no one else did and for spreading good energy everywhere they go. And of course for being talented both in writing and art♡

@cawyden-gaming for not minding my long rants about lore and for letting me see their angle about the game, the characters and her very own Venria. And of course for all the guides that help people experience this game in much deeper way than they possibly would otherwise♡

@rikke-reid-art for feeding those who love Calligos with wonderfully sensual art when no one else was doing it♡

@nananarc for being the best spicy Abelard artist that I to this day can't stop gawking at. You were the one who inspired me post (and write) my very first RT one shot, thank you for that!♡

@aethersflames for tirelessly cultivating tolerance and friendliness in the fandom and always providing a listening ear to whoever might want to yap about their OCs♡

@fenlirias for feeding those who love Kunrad unapologetically and giving him a partner that he deserves - one who walks the path with him, one of Chaos♡

@sanzosin for being a great person to talk RT with and for drawing such amazing many things that I will never tire looking at♡

@masyamice/@grushevayabanditka for being not only an incredible artist but also a delight to talk to and an awesome person to joke with♡

I could have said much more but the post is already long. So I'll say this - thank you all for being who you are. Never change and most importantly - never stop creating. Remember - you should do whatever you want, forever! ♡

[scoobydoodean]

Hello<3

I was wondering if you had any thoughts on how fandom misconstrues Dean's relationship with alcohol?

There is so much emphasis on making him out to be a violent mean drunk, but I mostly remember that he drinks and like passes out when he's grieving or stressed (iirc) (s6 PTSD, Soulless sam, when Cas dies, etc.)? It's weird to me because Dean isn't the only character to go through this. Bobby relies on drinking too. He's exactly as gruff as Dean can be. He also had an abusive father. Yet I don't usually see people judging Bobby for that (if they exist, I haven't seen them at least thank God).

I get frustrated when people say things like the MoC was a direct metaphor for alcoholism just because it made Dean sooo violent and angry, etc. And, it's like an unrealistic understanding of alcoholism irl and also of Dean himself and his actual actions and context. I just get weirdly defensive of him over it lol.

If you've already hashed this out I'm sry! At the end of the day, it's all just interpretation ig, but I wanted to know your take on it cause ik you'd look at dean with a good faith lens.

<3

One could say I have had thoughts on how fandom misconstrues Dean's relationship with alcohol. One could even say I have spawned extremely funny multi-day fandom-wide disk horses on this subject simply by giving my opinion on my own blog when an anon asked me to.

I'm tracking Dean's relationship with alcohol (and other substances bc I was too lazy to make two separate tags) through #dean and drugs during my rewatch if you care to peruse, but I think you and I are of a similar mind on this.

Prior to season 4, Dean has a very average relationship with alcohol. In season 4, Dean starts using alcohol as a coping tool to help him fall asleep because he's having nightmares about hell. By season 6, alcohol is also a coping tool for depression and stress. He drinks to deal with nightmares, he drinks to cope with hell trauma, he drinks after soulless Sam watches his sexual assault with a smile, he drinks after Cas swallows all the souls and Death blames Dean for everything, he drinks throughout season 7 to cope with Cas's death and Bobby's death. I'm up to 8.01 and have yet to see a single occasion where Dean drinking and Dean being violent co-occurred. What I do see is Dean drinking when he is sad, alone, or scared.

I'll continue tracking—I'll eventually get back into the MoC arc where Dean is drinking heavily again, and obviously Dean + drinking + anger + violence are all going to happen at the same time in MoC seasons. However, correlation does not equal causation, and while someone can choose to believe that Dean's drinking causes him to be angry, I think the literal answer in season 9/10 is that Dean's been cursed by the father of murder, and on a more metaphorical level, the Mark of Cain quite overtly represents Dean's resentment toward Sam which Carver spends his entire run laying out in great detail. This is why the whole Carver run culminates in Amara (a Dean parallel) being unleashed to take revenge on her brother, and why the MoC is a brother murderer curse to begin with. Alcohol is set dressing. It shows us—just as it did in the past—that Dean feels sad, alone, and scared (in this case, of what the MoC could lead him to do—which also isn't dissimilar from the original reason Dean started drinking—after hell to cope with the trauma of not just being tortured but torturing others—the fear that he'd been made into a monster).

Looking at the matter holistically, I don't personally see Dean as an angry drunk. I see him as a sad drunk. If anything, I think he hopes that alcohol will drown his anger and violent urges in the MoC arc, or at least slow him down, while also being the traditional tool he uses during boughts of depression (which he is very much experiencing during the MoC arc to the point of suicide). I also think outside the outlier of season 9/10, the narrative supports sad drunk Dean far better than angry drunk Dean.

[bellysoupset]

Indigested

"Where the hell do you think you're going dressed like this?" Lucas asked in a sharp, false, tone and caused Bella's dark auburn brows to meet in an upset frown.

"Wherever the hell I want?" She bit back just as sharply, only to blush as she saw his amused smile, "oh, you're joking."

"Yeah, I'm joking," Luke snorted, reaching so he could grab her studded waist and pulling her close so he could kiss her, "you look amazing."

"Thanks," Bella beamed at the compliment, smoothing her hands over his chest, "you don't look too bad yourself," she gave him one more kiss, before cupping his face so she could wipe the dark red stain from his mouth, "they're almost here, Teddy texted ten minutes ago."

"Alright, remind me of their names?"

"Teddy, he's chubby and looks like a teddy bear, you're really not gonna miss it," Bella explained, checking all the trays of food for their dinner party. After the disaster that had been the Superbowl, she was extremely worried about food poisoning for a second time. Once again they had ordered the food, but now from a different place and Luke had taste tested everything in a valiant show of courage, hours before, "Melissa is the one with the pink braids and Vader has the piercings."

"They sound like band kids," Luke chuckled, wrapping his arms around her from behind, "I'm gonna dial up the charm."

"Dial it down, Atwood," Bella scoffed, leaning against his embrace, "you're already too damn charming for your own good, lower that shit down."

"Can't do," he pressed a kiss to her cheek, just as the doorbell rang.

Luke had been spot on the money about the band kids description, all of Bella's coworkers, whom he knew by name but had never met until now, looked like band kids. They were all alt, which didn't surprise him, considering Bell was clad in her most vampiric outfit and fitting right in with the gang. He was the one who stood out like a sore thumb.

"Oh lalala Bell, this place is gorgeous," Teddy said, holding a black bag with a wine bottle inside of it. Truly, couldn't people think of housewarming gifts that weren't wine? They had a full collection by now and neither of them drank it.

"It is my pride and joy," Bella had a bright smile on as she gestured for her friends to come in, not even trying to be humble, "and this is Luke," she latched on his arm, "Lucas, Teddy, Mel and Vader."

He shook all of their hands, all smiles and letting the pokes of fun wash over him. Teddy calling him the "famous Lou" and Vader squinting at him in a suspicious manner. Introverts, Luke thought with a snort, wrapping an arm around Bell's waist and guiding their guests into the dining room.

---------------

Luke was an extrovert. He fed on people's energy, a night out with friends was how he relaxed, not staying home and staring at a TV. Even if he was bookworm, he didn't enjoy sitting alone in a room to read, but would rather go busy places like a park or a coffee shop, or the best option, have Bella draped on him, so at least he felt like it was a shared activity.

Nevertheless, even he couldn't deny that the best part of a dinner party was the debrief that followed. Rehashing the night's moments and sharing gossip over tea with Bella had to be one of his favorite things in life.

So Bella was entirely justified as she threw her arms around his shoulders, from behind, and pressed a kiss to his cheek, pouting at how quiet he had turned, "you didn't have fun?"

"Hmm," Luke shook his head, wrinkling his nose, "I did, it was great. Your colleagues are funny..."

His wife let out a huff, her breath smelling like chocolate cake, nose pressed to his temple, "you're acting weird... You got super quiet there at the end, Luke."

He leaned his head back, so it met Bella's shoulder and winced, "it wasn't the company," Luke explained, smiling as she turned to look at him, so close their noses nearly brushed, "dinner's not agreeing with me."

"Oh," Bell's eyes widened and he leaned in, stealing a kiss and causing her to splutter and giggle, "LuKE!" she rolled her eyes in a fond manner, then pulled back enough to give him an once over, "dinner's kicking your ass?"

"Oh yeah," he squirmed on the dining room chair, he had only gotten up long enough to see his guests out. The dishes were still on the table, a whole mess to be dealt with, "big time."

"Aye, poor baby," Bell teased him, softly, stroking his hair back, "let's get you out of these clothes, it can't be comfortable."

It wasn't, not at all, and Luke was more than happy to let Bell undress him as he pulled him to his feet and up the stairs. His legs felt heavy, whole body focused on the throbbing in his midsection. He hadn't eaten more than his normal share, but he felt stuffed and lethargic, as if his stomach was pulsing.

Bella hadn't quite gotten the memo, pushing him on the bed and sitting on his lap. He couldn't blame her, it wouldn't be the first time he overdid it at dinner and decided he was still well enough to fool around.

"C'mere," she captured his lips with hers, kissing him slowly, fingers undoing the buttons of his shirt. Luke winced, the way her thighs circled his middle was far from comfortable, squeezing him.

He grabbed her by the chin, pushing her back, "no, Bell, its actually hurting..." Luke grimaced as a cramp went through his packed belly. It felt like nothing was digesting, a congealed mess inside of him.

"Awn," Bella cooed, falling off his lap so she was on the bed and finishing removing his shirt, "better?"

It was a smidge better now that he couldn't feel it brushing against his sensitive stomach, but that was about it. When he didn't answer, Bell got to work on his trousers, undoing his belt and the fly of the pants, patting his thigh with an amused huff, "up, up, let me get this off you-" she tugged on the pants, pulling them fully out and Luke let out a little relieved sigh.

His stomach mimicked him, letting out a gross gurgle and Bell raised her eyebrows, clutching the pants balled up in her hands in a surprised manner, "that was your stomach?"

"Uhm, yeah," Luke scooted on the bed, so he could fall against the pillows and let out a deep breath, staring at the ceiling and planting a hand on his stomach. It felt warm to the touch, warmer than the rest of his body, and it was clearly upset. More gurgles followed, but he still didn't feel like anything was digesting, "fuck, you don't think its food poisoning, right?"

Bell paused at the bathroom door, she had already kicked off her heels and was holding a cotton ball to her eye, waiting for the dark makeup to melt under the cleanser, "no, Luke..." she frowned, "all five of us had the same stuff and we're fine. Besides, you weren't sick on the evening when you did the taste test..."

That was a sound argument. Luke grimaced as he felt a growl deep inside, dinner churning sluggishly, "I guess... Maybe I just ate too fast or something."

"Maybe it's gas," Bella was looking quite comical, one eye fully clean, the other one covered in glam makeup, "do you want some ginger ale? Or-" she yawned, "or pepto?"

"Ginger ale might help..." Luke felt like was sweating now, the pressure in his stomach going up a notch of uncomfortableness, "and a belly rub?"

"Uh-hum," Bell smiled at him, moving back inside the bathroom so she could wash her face, "let me just change and I'll get it for you."

She stripped down the velvet crimson dress and Luke let his head fall back, planting a hand on his stomach and trying to knead some digestion into it. Although he was being gentle, his belly felt tender to the touch and all he managed was to cause cramps to ripple through him, but not a single burp came up nor did it feel like his stomach was doing anything.

"Here," Bell crawled back on the bed, holding up a ginger ale can as well as the pepto pink bottle, "pick your poison."

Luke took the can, taking several gulps and feeling the pressure building in his chest, until he couldn't swallow anymore. He let out a groan, leaning forward so a burp would come up, but instead a hiccup shook his entire frame.

"That was cute," Bella chuckled, falling against the pillows and rubbing his naked back, legs tangled with the blankets, "hold your breath to stop the hiccups-"

Luke tried to hold it, but he didn't manage even a second before another deep hiccup caused him to jostle, his stomach contents jumping and acid licking his throat. He clutched at it, "ugh- Hurts..."

He couldn't quite breathe right, the ginger ale had pressurized his belly, but no burp was coming up. Bella let out a sigh, moving so she was sitting behind him and patting his back, "you're really pale, Luke..."

A small burp came up, as well as more acidic froth which he promptly swallowed. He cupped a hand over his lips, "it's just reflux-"

She thumped his back with enough force another wet burp rolled past his lips, deep from his stomach and bringing up a sliver of relief. Luke swallowed down the saliva accumulating in his mouth, whole body getting covered in goosebumps and a shudder running through him as dinner tried to come back with the burp.

"Ugh," he swallowed down, "don't thump that hard, feels like it's trying to come back up..."

"Lean back," Bell kissed his cheek and he obeyed, slotting himself against her shoulder, between her legs. The ginger's cold hands cupped his stomach and he winced, the upset organ continuing to throb and cramp.

"Careful, Bell, it hurts..."

"I know, I know, baby," she cooed, moving her hand in lazy, gentle circles, "you didn't eat enough to be this stuffed, what the hell..."

"Yeah, uhm-" he muffled a little burp against his hand, "bloated as fuck..."

She thumped the heel of her hand against his side, causing a nasty belch to roll up and some of the pressure to reduce. Bella wrinkled her nose, "gross, Atwood, don't burp on my face..."

"What-" he smiled slightly, forcing up another little burp, with no heat behind it, still facing her, "I thought you loved all of me."

"You're such a prick," she planted her hand on his face, giggling and shoving it away, "this feels good...?" she rubbed under the swell of his stomach, right where it was pushing against his boxers, fingers pressing on his warm skin as if she was playing a piano.

"Uhm... Yeah, feels be-bEtuurop-" he turned his head quickly, letting out a large, frothy burp, "it's helping..."

"Alright," Bell yawned, focusing on the belly rub. She was really good at it, finding every single air pocket and slowly working her way around, gentle but firm. However while it helped with the awful pressure and the sensation he couldn't breathe, it really did nothing to how gross Luke was feeling.

Now his stomach was full on churning, letting out constant whines and growls, and his jaw felt heavy.

"Hold on, hold on," Lucas grabbed Bella's hand and she seemed to have completely zoned out, because she jerked at the touch, as if she was almost falling asleep, "stop."

"What- What is it?" Bell yawned, pulling back to look at him and then raising her eyebrows, "oh Luke, you're gonna be sick? You're all clammy..."

He shook his head, trying to swallow the spit accumulating in his mouth, but his throat refused it and he gagged.

"Yeah, okay," Bell scoffed, grabbing his arm, "up up up-" she ushered him out of the bed and Luke stumbled up, hugging his stomach. He felt a little dizzy with nausea and the following gag brought up a splash of semi digested food, which he forced back down.

"Almost there-" Bella was mumbling feverishly, pushing him inside their suite's bathroom. It was much bigger than in their old place, which was a good thing on most days, but meant more steps tonight and Luke whimpered, bracing against the sink.

"That's alright, I got you," Bell pushed his hangs back, opening the faucet and running her hand under it, rubbing her now humid and cold hands on his face to refreshen him, "shhh, take a deep breath-"

Luke jerked with another gag and planted a hand on the mirror in front of the sink, ducking his head as he spat a thick wave inside the bowl. His stomach churned at the gruesome sight and he wrapped the opposite arm around his belly, trying to keep his dinner down.

"Shhh, baby, that's alright," Bella was rubbing his naked back, nails brushing on his nape as she moved her hand up, "get it up, you'll feel better..."

It was like all his stomach needed was permission, because the next wave was much larger and caused him to curl up, whole body shaking with effort.

He lowered his head to the marble of the sink, blowing out a burp to the ground and breathing deeply as if he had just ran a marathon, while Bell washed off the mess from the bowl and kept a steadying hand on his elbow.

His stomach was still a mess. Everything was churning around and he felt nauseous as all hell, but no longer overfull like before. He shuddered again, leaning over the sink to spit and glaring at his reflection.

He looked awful. Hair slightly glued down to his forehead thanks to the cold sweat, no matter how much Bella had ran her fingers through it to keep it out of the way. Face ashen, lips almost vanishing from how pale they were. Bella was looking at him in a worried manner, big blue eyes the size of saucers, a hand still planted on his back.

"Lu?" she rubbed his arm, "are you done?"

Luke wrinkled his nose, frowning, "not sure..." his stomach let out a sickening growl and he spat in the bowl again, opening the faucet once more to wash his face and take a gulp of water. It helped with the horrible taste in his mouth, but landed in his belly all wrong, causing him to burp more frothy vomit back in the bowl.

"Alright," Bella was chewing on her lip, alarmed, "take your time..."

He coughed and washed his mouth once again, sniffling, "Urgh... I think- I think I'm done...?" it was supposed to be an affirmation, but didn't quite sound like it. Bell raised a skeptical eyebrow.

"You think?"

"Not sure," Luke grimaced, moving away from the sink so he could press his back against the cool tiled wall of the bathroom, "still feel nauseous as fuck... But not gonna throw up."

"Okay," Bella was inspecting him, seeming worried. She planted her hands on his cheek, then on his forehead, probably in search of a fever, but he was cold and clammy, "okay- I'll take the trash bin back to the room just in case and you can try some of the pepto. Maybe it'll work now."

"Maybe," he was exhausted. He yawned, protectively wrapping an arm around his middle and following his wife back to the room, "you'll keep giving me a belly rub...?"

Bella snorted, planting the bin down next to their bed and falling on it, gesturing for him to cuddle her, "yeah, duh. Of course."

[mirensiart]

⚘️⚘️⚘️

Roses for the lady! (Talk about whatever you wish :D)

ehehehe thank you!!!!

I'm gonna use this instance to yap about an original character of mine that I'm very fond of lol

my friend (he's not very active on tumblr but I'm tagging him anyway!) @31-radical has an original story where half the cast is a supernatural being, very fun story 10/10 characters

anyway, since alex is super cool, he let me include an OC to his story and we developed this dude together and it's been SO FUN

Ok so meet Jack! at a simple glance he's a normal dude, normal anthro doggo in an anthro world, no biggie

he has no memory of his childhood or how he lost his eye but hey! it happens! Jack is best friends with Colby (one of Alex's characters) who's entire thing is to hunt supernatural beings lmao

Jack is an skeptic, doesn't believe supernatural beings exists, believes colby is just bullshitting everything or likes hanging around when Colby's working

thing is Jack is (or was) a supernatural being lmao he was a hellhound! he worked under Cerberus himself, and had a small gate in hell to guard, especially from demons trying to escape from hell

now Jack is very dumb and kept fucking up his work! he also has a blind eye thanks to an encounter with a very angry demon! so sometimes demons get past him from his blind side!

anyway, Cerberus basically fires him, and yeets him to the mortal realm as punishment, to live as a normal mortal, with no memories of his previous life or powers

thing is, he still has that supernatural thing going on despite being "mortal" aka he is immortal lmao

Jack doesn't know this though! but Colby does lmao Alex and i like the idea that the fact Jack is immortal is cause whenever he dies his soul gets sent to hell and Cerberus doesn't let it in and kicks it out back to his mortal body mao

anyway, he keeps dying when hanging with Colby whenever Colby is doing dangerous jobs, but never remembers lmao Colby just thinks it's funny af and uses Jack's immortalness for shenanigans

Jack does revert into hellhound mode when in extreme distress or anger, which doesn't happen often but when it does shit happens lmao

anyway here's the guy ever:

his hellhound self is also veeeeeeeery tall, like 8feet tall vs his mortal self being like 6feet tall-ish

anyway, i know Alex has his story on hiatus, but this guy and colby's shenanigans will forever be my fave thing ever lmao

[ratseathumans]

💚

(not suicide, just a major appreciation post about someone<3)

it’s kinda weird and amazing that I met someone ( @highclasshomosexual ) here on my birthday, and they thought I was super cool because of the weird little standees I used to make

it’s also amazing how they literally saved my life, by just being kind on my birthday, which I thought was gonna be horrible but it turned out to be the best birthday I have ever had.

I used to think I would have no one to invite to my concerts, or no one that I could hang out with and not be afraid, but now I do have someone I am incredibly grateful for<3

I don’t know why I made this post public, I don’t know why I didn’t just text you it

But just know

That I am incredibly grateful for meeting you. I know I don’t say it enough but you are literally amazing, and super funny and so, sosososo kind, and OH MY GOSH SO PRETTY AHHHHHHHH

you are always so fun to hang out with and i appreciate you so much for coming to see me tomorrow at my concert. I always look forward to texting you at the end of the school day, or calling w/ you and @emily59729 (which you are also amazing, and so kind and I appreciate you sm<3)

I will always appreciate our hangouts together, and oh my gosh the first time we ever met irl,

(how we first ever met at David busters, before I go on a rant about that to I’m gonna say the other places)

And the mall, and how you told me i should get those earings.

I wear them everyday, and always think of you<3

And the movie?

Though it wasnt the best movie, i remeber us laughing at the most random shit

And i will cherish those memories<3

ESPECIALLY THE FIRST TIME WE MET (now im gonna go on a very happy rant about this)

I remember being scared as shit to meet you(not the bad way, i just thought you would think i looked weird or something)

And i also remember seeing you for the first time, and i thought you looked so cool, i remember thinking “OH MY GOSH IM ACTUALLY MEETING THEM“ and i was extremely happy.

And then we had our first conversation, i said your jacket looked super cool and you said you liked my turtle neck<3

That is my favorite memory, and i wont ever forget it.

I love you alot dude, (friendly), and im so grateful i met you.

You are a amazing human being, and i cant wait to spend more years as your friend<3

Thank you for everything. I dont know how i can repay you.

[5ummit]

So I really wanted to come back and jot down my thoughts after seeing the movie (not that I think anyone really cares) but I’ve been super busy the last few days and also realized I needed more time to process and get my thoughts somewhat in order. Still not fully there yet and I really need a rewatch or two to solidify how I feel about some things but let’s get into it anyway.

Overall Thunderbolts was really solid with a fantastic emotional through line and extremely fun character dynamics. Definitely one of the best Marvel movies post Infinity Saga. But it’s not perfect.

My rating: 8.5/10

Now for some incoherent rambling more detailed thoughts. Please don’t keep reading if you don’t want to be spoiled or if you loved it and don’t want your opinion colored by my overly-critical judgement (I'm only critical because I care). Long post ahead.

[SPOILERS]

The Good:

✱ Incredible character dynamics. I adore the trope of awful people with clashing personalities having to work together for their own survival and/or the greater good. The constant bickering and bullying was so fun. I would watch an entire movie of the gang just sitting around a dinner table. Take my money, Marvel!

✱ I’ve only had Bob for a day and a half 3 days but if anything ever happened to him I’d kill everyone in this room and then myself. Troubled, abused sweethearts with a dark side they try to keep hidden are my kyrptonite apparently. I already ship him with everyone. Yes, including himself.

✱ The trash possibilities of The Void/Shame Rooms?? Void Trash Party let's fuckin goooo!

✱ Great balance of humor and seriousness, which is a very hard line to walk when dealing with such heavy topics.

✱ Speaking of which, one on the biggest highlights was the mental health focus and the way they tackled topics like depression, suicidal ideation, trauma, drug use, and domestic violence. The fact that a blockbuster action movie tackled them at all is pretty incredible, but it was actually handled really well and the themes meshed with the plot seamlessly. It was a brilliant choice for this cast of characters and feels particularly relevant and important with the current state of mental health just in general right now.

✱ I loved the moment where they all simultaneously packed up their shit (their first real moment working together seamlessly as a team!) and got the hell out of dodge when they got their asses handed to them. You never see the heroes run away with their tail between their legs when they lose and it was both very funny and very humanizing and endearing. My only complaint is that they should’ve realized they were out of their depth much sooner but you can’t say they didn’t give it their all.

✱ No shoehorned romance for Bucky! Ever since the Tbolts announcement there’s been speculation that Bucky and Yelena might become a Thing, which I didn't truly believe since it makes no sense, but I hated that I couldn’t discount the idea completely. I also thought there was good chance they might try to pair Bucky up with some other woman in an effort to no-homo him like they did Steve. Thank god there wasn’t a single hint of that.

✱ The only potential relationship even slightly hinted at was Yelena/Bob, which I’m actually fully on-board with (though I’m perfectly fine with them as just friends too). They had such great chemistry and their interactions felt so genuine. I can’t even remember the last time I felt anything for a canon ship, much less a het ship. Ava and John are also very fun together, I ship it. What's happening to me?

✱ I’ve always known and preached that Bucky is not much of a leader, works best when he’s got a handler someone else to make the plans, and would’ve been a terrible Captain America. From his awkward interactions with the press and bumbling job as a congressman to his bare-bones attack plans, I'm feeling very validated.

✱ It never dragged. I was genuinely never bored or looking at my watch to see how much time was left, which can’t be said for many, if not most, other blockbusters I’ve seen in the last decade. If anything, it was too short.

✱ No convoluted multiverse shenanigans! Except for the last few seconds of the end credits scene, of course, but I won’t count that against it. Bucky's beautiful blowout makes up for it.

✱ No giant CGI battles and/or endless punchfests! I know Marvel movies are action movies at their core so action is to be expected, and I do enjoy action scenes! But so often the punching and shooting and magic laser blasts and CGI spectacle just goes on and on and on. It’s boring and exhausting and often doesn't serve a narrative purpose. Basically all of the action scenes in this movie were purposeful, well-coordinated, fun, and never really lasted longer than they needed to.

✱ Most of the top tier Marvel movies are the ones where the antagonist has a personal connection to the hero(es). Where the stories are character-driven and the central conflict has a beating heart and makes you feel something because it’s not just a random bad guy trying to destroy/take over the world. This movie had that in spades, very much like my beloved CATWS.

The Bad Not So Good:

I’m going to preface this section by saying that my standards are incredibly high and one of my favorite hobbies is complaining over-analyzing. Also I’ve always been very precious about Bucky’s characterization and treatment by Marvel. Please keep that in mind.

✱ Bucky was criminally underutilized. Despite how much they featured him in the marketing, I knew he was likely to be more of a side-character, and I was right. We basically see all of his scenes in the trailers and it felt like they didn’t really know what to do with him most of the time. He easily could've been written out of this movie and it wouldn’t have made much difference. I almost wish they had, if only to avoid my next and biggest gripe.

✱ Congressman Bucky. Where do I even start. I’ve never been on-board with this character choice and really hoped the movie would finally provide a look into his thought process and at least a half-decent explanation for how he ended up in that role. I was sorely disappointed on that front. The general consensus seems to be that he wanted to help people while also trying to get away from his Winter Soldier roots, and/or the whole thing was just a way for him to take down Val from the inside.

Explanation #1 could make sense if there weren’t plenty of other ways to help people without using his WS skills that don’t require months of campaigning and public speaking, both of which Bucky isn’t suited for in the slightest, for a position he doesn’t seem to actually want at any point. And explanation #2 could make sense if they showed him trying his best to participate in Val’s trial and do things the “right” way before that inevitably failed and he’s forced to change tactics. Instead, we start the movie with Bucky already crashing out after less than a year and resorting to his usual MO with zero indication that he ever really tried to be a good politician or do anything useful with his time there (he didn’t read the packets or sponsor a single bill!). And if that’s the case, what was the point of it all? How did this further the story and Bucky’s character development?

All we learn about him through this failed escapade is that he really hasn’t moved past the Winter Soldier. I might even go so as far as saying Bucky is the only Thunderbolt to have negative character development. He inexplicably throws himself too deep and too quickly into a role he’s ill-suited for and then immediately gives up and regresses back to his comfort zone of punching and shooting that he’s desperately been trying to escape and put behind him. Which is honestly great for me as big fan of Bucky Suffering and a “Bucky is way more like the WS than he wants to admit” truther, but the acknowledgement of the gravity and implications of this choice were severely lacking. It also seems kinda odd and incongruous given the "overcoming your past mistakes and trauma" message of the rest of the movie. You could read it as him finally accepting the WS side of himself, which I do very much enjoy, but if that's what they were going for, it could've been done better and made more clear. This is definitely one of those things I need to sit with and mull over a little longer.

✱ The complete sidelining of Bucky’s grief and trauma in a movie revolving around grief and trauma. I know it’s hard to get enough focus on each character in a ensemble film, but his character and background are such a perfect fit for the themes and he still has so many issues to work through himself, even if Marvel loves to pretend otherwise. Though I guess I'd rather them do nothing than handle it poorly again like they did in TFATWS.

✱ Bucky blowing up the limo immediately after rescuing the gang. Why?? They didn’t pose any visible threat and very likely would’ve cooperated and gone with him wherever he asked. I'm pretty sure they were all heading to the same airport anyway. And if all of the vehicles were destroyed except Bucky’s motorcycle, how did he get them from the middle of the desert to wherever they are later? It seems like he didn’t tie them up until they reached the warehouse(?) either, so did he make them awkwardly walk down the road for miles at gun point? Without saying a word to them since they clearly haven’t talked until we see them in the next scene? What happened in between? It doesn't make any sense and was clearly done purely for the spectacle and shock value and that really annoyed me because it threw me out of the story.

✱ Taskmaster being killed off so unnecessarily quick. What was the point of putting her in this movie at all? But mostly what was the point of marketing her as part of the team for so long when it’s been abundantly clear from the very first trailer that this was what was going to happen? If everyone can see it coming a mile away you don’t even get the shock value. She also had just as much trauma and baggage to work through as the rest of the team and it would’ve been so interesting to finally learn about what she’s like as a person under the mask and brainwashing. Such a disappointing waste of a character with so much potential. Very reminiscent of Rumlow’s death in Civil War, but at least he had some development up to that point and somewhat served a narrative purpose before going out in a literal blaze of glory.

✱ I know I put “didn’t drag” in the positive category but it’s honestly a pro and a con. The movie was extremely fast paced, almost to its detriment. There were definitely scenes and character development moments that really should’ve been allowed more breathing room to feel more believable, mostly in the last half. One example was Bob suddenly turning on his new friends, who tried to save his life and who he tried to sacrifice himself for, to align with Val and fight them simply because she ordered it. Obviously he’s very messed up in the head, but what little we see on screen of his interactions with Val and her obvious attempts at manipulation did not feel like enough to warrant such a sudden shift, especially since it seems like Val was only “training” him for a day, at most. Of course Bob wasn’t thrilled about fighting them, but I think he should’ve looked and acted a lot more conflicted about it given how little time had passed since they were last together (was it even a full day?). It seems kind of like Sentry is another alternate personality that took over and not exactly Bob anymore, but if that’s the case it was really not established well enough.

✱ Despite finally getting to see a bit of Valentina’s backstory and learning more about her, which I did appreciate, she still feels very flat and one-dimensional to me. I think that’s less the fault of JLD and more the way Val always seems to be written, particularly how other characters interact with her and how the world interacts with her in general. She’s so over-the-top sleazy and devious it just doesn’t make sense how she got to where she is and how anyone can trust her at all, especially considering she's a woman (don't @ me, we all know it's way easier for a man to get away with being awful). And it especially doesn’t makes sense that she could have this massive military/scientific operation going on, with all of that equipment and manpower, in complete secret, and multiple assassins in her employ who she talks to and about out the open. The fact that Val feels less real and believable to me than a character who can turn the entirely of NYC into his own hell dimension is not great.

✱ My final point is not really a criticism of the movie itself but the trailers and marketing. They showed too much. I think I would’ve enjoyed this movie even more if I didn’t basically know exactly how the story was going to play out beat for beat. Nothing really surprised me and that’s a bummer.

Off to see Thunderbolts, see y'all on the other side 🫡

[peachypizzicato]

Hey just so you know, comrade shrimp is kind of a controversial person in other fandoms. Thought I would let you know before you get too chummy with them.

anon i really truly don’t know how to break this to you but i’ve known shrimp for like ten years and to be completely frank i don’t really care about whatever fandom drama people are stirring up about them. please don’t disparage my friends to me like this, especially without any explanation or proof

[canisalbus]

So i remember an ask mentioning your mortal enemy, Felis Atra and their cats, and i thought it'd be fun to draw what Felis Atra's version of your italian dogs would be.

I think they would be called Butter Knife and Flamengo! Butter Knife is not his real name, it's an nickname given by his peers because of how harmless he is. I choose Flamengo because that's the name of Vasco's rival football team here in Brazil, so i thought that was the perfect name :)

Cat Machete was slightly inspired by the Oriental Shorthair cat because of their long noses and thin head shape.

Cat Vasco was inspired by the Scottish Fold cat, because FLOPPY EARS. I gave Flamengo longer ears and orange fur to make him more like his look-alike.

The last doodle is a reference to this ask (https://canisalbus.tumblr.com/post/728923918314946560/me-i-am-machete-ear-fan-number-1-those-ears) and contains the tumblr ask stand-in dog, whose cat version was inspired by the American Curl cat! They have round ears that are slightly floppy outwards.

Final notes: I know cardinal clothes don't come in vibrant blue, but i was ADAMANT on switching Machete's and Vasco's clothing color patterns. I would draw the rest of Butter Knife's and Flamengo's clothes, but i suck at designing cool outfits.

Speaking of outfits, for Machete's iconic void outfit, i figured it would be fun to make it more baggy for Butter Knife, in contrast to Machete's, that looks very tight-fitted. I think it's cute, it kinda looks like a sweater. Also i can't imagine a Machete doppelganger without high heels boots, so those HAD to stay.

Oh, and just to be clear, i'm not like, claiming ownership of these guys or anything. I just thought it would be a fun exercise. Hope you like them!! I love your art and your characters.

.

[thistledropkick]

When Sanada joined War Dogs I was shocked at first but then I thought about how obsessed he is with dogs, so maybe a dog-themed faction is perfect for him actually.

But it also reminded me of back when Sanada first interviewed to apply to join J5G, and I can't stop laughing about it.

On the resume form, for his hobby Sanada just wrote "dogs".

When asked for clarification, he said that he wants to become a dog.

Taichi asked him follow-up questions like, when you become a dog, will you need a collar? (Sanada answered no, he won't need a collar or leash, he'll be a free dog.) And, after you become a dog, will you still want to work as our company dog? (Sanada said yes but I guess that didn't work out?)

Anyway, congrats to Sanda for finally achieving his dream.

[buwheal]

Man although I can't send this and have Spamton see the image (cuz it would be text instead) I'll send it to you and you can give me your opinion about it.

What do you think...

...about...

...snowy Spamton?

IT SNOWED YESTERDAY YESS!!!

(this was on a car btw, which made it even better)

[sacchiri]

A little interaction that happened on twitter yesterday:

A large anime account (toarutoa) posted the following image set of "Anime adaptations that angered their original creators", including a screenshot of Hellsing (OVA) with the subtitle "<Author: I sold the DVDs I was gifted on Mandarake>[popular secondhand shop]".

Hirano saw the tweet and made the passive-aggressive reply, "I wonder what the value of an anime twitter account that can't even distinguish between an OVA and TV series is."

(Apparently the comment about Mandarake was something Hirano actually said about the TV series back in the day, which he was known for being extremely critical of. Some of his other comments included "It's a waste of Nachi Nozawa" [Anderson's VA in the TV version and Hirano's dream casting for the character] and "There's no point in staying up late on Wednesdays.")

The OP ended up deleting their post a few hours later, but Hirano tweeted a follow-up:

"I really like the Hellsing OVA. I can't believe they adapted something so, y'know, into an anime so well. The entire staff has my utmost thanks. I don't have a single negative thing to say about it."

[i3utterflyeffect]

cursor selkie sc (due to some unlikely plot contrivance) in god with a bag of groceries au would be so funny...bystanders watching god pass by with a bag of groceries, followed by tiny god with a packet of cookies. adorable.

ANON... YOUR MIND..........

[egophiliac]

should've just let Vil be the one to fly, it would've gone SO much easier. 😔

also HEY how are everyone else's pulls going, because I have had the most RIDICULOUS luck, seriously, halloween magic is 100% real

[batsplat]

controversial opinion but I don’t think that in terms of rivalries and feuds marc is that interesting. like if you exclude valentino you’re left with who? dovi? they did have exciting on track battles for sure but let’s face it dovi was never really a huge title threat. and their off track relationship as a result had no tension. but who else?

qualified agreement in that, yes, I also don't think marc's slate of rivalries/feuds is all that satisfying... I just don't feel like this is entirely marc's *fault*. I mean, first off, valentino is definitely a positive outlier in this regard in that he was just working overtime in terms of coming up with compelling feuds. he's not quite the spiders georg of fantastic feuds, but he's not far off either. secondly, when compared to the other aliens + dovi... marc is at a very obvious disadvantage in that those guys were all direct peers who already had a lot of history with each other. dovi made fourteen year old jorge cry, twenty year old casey threw a temper tantrum when dani beat him, teenage jorge was judgemental of casey's fan engagement skills, and obviously there's the jorge/dani of it all. even the bits of that diagram that never had any major beef will have at least had a little bit of sizzling tension, like dovi's wariness of dani as a teammate. marc was always going to be on the back foot here - he really could have done with a pol esparagaro-type figure to crack on and become a big deal in the premier class. you need interpersonal history for a strong rivalry, and marc was always working at a deficit by having to start from scratch

this is the thing, right: imagine a world in which marc is born a few years earlier. in your hearts, do you seriously believe he would not have had a major sustained feud with at least one of jorge, dani, casey or dovi? I'm thinking he gets at least 2-3 in all honesty. casey if they ever ended up teammates is practically a given - and even without that you'd have to say it's a near certainty that it would've gone very badly. I mean good lord, casey vs the marc marquez towing addiction feels like it inevitably ends in casey physically assaulting marc on-track at least once. jorge had feuds with literally everyone, so that one also feels guaranteed. dani was a way less prickly character by the time marc got to the premier class but used to be a notoriously difficult teammate - so those two at honda and, again, odds are pretty good you get something going. dovi's a bit more marginal in that it kinda depends on what their respective competitive situations look like - plus dovi was generally more of a single issue jorge lorenzo hater - but you'd still expect it to be at least a little bit snarkier. so yeah, just a straightforward counterfactual - but it should still demonstrate that the picture is more complicated than 'marc marquez sucks at feuds'. there's clearly more going on here

so I kinda feel like there's two interrelated questions here, right. let's break it down:

how high quality are marc's rivalries/feuds?

to what extent can the quality or lack thereof of marc's rivalries/feuds be attributed to him, versus circumstantial factors that were outside of his control?

now with the first question, again, I do agree that right now in his career... marc could be doing better. he's got one major feud - and admittedly it's a doozy, but it's against a guy who has five major feuds to his name. if you look at that without context then it's quite easy to conclude valentino is putting in all the hard work, with little to no contribution from marc needed. apart from that... well, his other big rivalry on paper is with dovi - which, yeah, that one is lacking in narrative tension. the main issue with that rivalry isn't actually the lack of drama per se, it's that it just doesn't go anywhere. it's a bunch of strong on-track battles with no real arc to connect them, just ends up being completely static past the conclusion of 2017. I never got the sense that the two of them felt massively differently towards each other after 2019 than they had a couple years earlier... that's what kills it imo, like you need something to be happening in a rivalry. you need the two parties to have a substantial impact on each other! you can vaguely make that case for 2017 if you really want to push it - but it's just not enough, it only lasts for a few months, and it's lacking in the build-up and pay-off department. there's no real shift in their dynamic, not in terms of their relationship or their title fights or even their on-track battles... their first big battle is dovi beating marc in austria and their last big battle is dovi beating marc in austria, so you can't even say marc's learned how to deal with the red bull ring's final corner better. the only thing that's substantially changed is that marc knows he'll win the title anyway. look how far we've come

then there's marc's rivalry with dani, interesting on paper and they did have a reasonable amount of tension, but obviously you'd be hard-pressed to mention it in the same sentence as any of the real top tier rivalries. it's just over too soon, marc wins it too conclusively, and they don't have a single memorable on-track battle to their name beyond 'that time marc cut dani's sensor cable'. the jorge rivalry isn't terrible - you've got a few strong-to-iconic on-track battles like jerez + silverstone 2013, mugello + silverstone 2014, mugello 2016, austria 2018... but yeah, the tone is really quite muted and reserved by jorge's standards. there's not a massive amount of development in that relationship post-2013, and it just sort of fizzles out over the years. again, really becomes more of a collection of moments than an actual cohesive narrative arc - like something like austria 2018 is a fun throwback, you've got jorge being mad at marc over the aragon 2018 crash that essentially ended his season, but it also doesn't really lead to anything bigger. maybe there was a teensy bit of hope the honda teammate situation would reawaken that rivalry (me and casey both grabbing the popcorn, mind), but jorge just wasn't competitive enough for that to go anywhere

so, who's fault is this? is marc just mid at starting feuds? why hasn't he started more feuds with a bunch of people who showed they were perfectly capable of starting feuds with each other? why hasn't he given the people more to work with? who can we blame for this sorry state of affairs?

now, honestly, I reckon most of the issues with marc's track record can be put down to circumstance and poor timing. I already said that you'd expect marc to be doing way better if he'd been born early enough to run into the aliens in their primes. this is for several reasons. the first reason is that he managed to miss casey entirely - who on paper has to be the alien you'd expect marc to get on the worst. casey has the most rigid belief structure surrounding riding standards and acceptable levels of aggression, he's the least likely to be okay with marc's 'vicious on-track smiling off it' schtick, he had a multi-year vendetta against the exact sort of behaviour in practise and qualifying marc has made a habit of throughout his career, he is a strong believer in the kind of teammate cooperation in development marc memorably eschewed at honda, he would have also found marc's flavour of media games distasteful at best, he's highly sensitive to anything that could be construed as an attack on him... and marc in turn would have been aware of all this and actively enjoyed pissing casey off. in some respects they feel like an even worse match than valentino and casey. marc and casey on the 'alien compatible personalities quiz' score negative points. so that's just poor timing - marc barely missed out on him! you've removed the most irascible alien from the picture, the guy who had the highest quantity of low level beef with the entire paddock... it's already taken away such a major obvious feud opportunity from marc that you have to be a bit more lenient when judging his record

beyond that, let's turn to two interrelated reasons for why marc didn't get more narrative juice out of his other rivalries with that generation: a) the competitive landscape, and b) how the aliens themselves changed over time. the biggest and most important factor is (a). my general stance with feuds is that it's really really hard to start a feud in year one of a rivalry - you simply need more build-up than that. this is incidentally also 100% true of valentino's feuds. biaggi and valentino already despised each other going into 2001 (incidentally the lack of a narrative arc is why that one's also not a top tier rivalry for me), sete and valentino needed 2003 to set up 2004, valentino and casey were more or less fine in 2007 and ditto with jorge and valentino in 2008 and even mostly 2009. you can likewise point to valentino and marc already having enough significant interactions in 2013-14 to set up the volatility of their on-track encounters in the first half of 2015. for a counterexample, check out valentino and nicky hayden - who were title rivals in 2006 and 2006 alone, and managed to get through that entire year with minimal drama and their relationship emerging entirely unscathed. if hayden had still been more competitive after that year, maybe something would have changed... but as it stands, you do need time to build up the kind of interpersonal history for things to get nasty in a meaningful way. see also btw how dani and valentino's rivalry never got properly nasty, despite some build up in 2006

compare and contrast with marc's situation. 2013 is actually perfectly good set up... except then it's immediately followed by a dud of a season, where marc is dominant enough in the first half to make the title fight essentially a non-starter. after 2013, dani really isn't a competitive threat to marc anymore outside of isolated patches, and marc so effectively wrests control away from that team that he doesn't really need to do anything more dramatic. (also a question of the personalities involved - if you paired up jorge with marc as teammates in 2014, that situation immediately looks a lot more volatile.) now, okay, you might query the lack of tension between marc and jorge in 2015... but marc was just too focused on valentino that year, not least because that's the guy he was actually fighting on-track. and he nukes himself out of that title fight fairly early on, so the interpersonal valentino stuff kinda becomes the main source of competitive stakes for him at certain times in that season. 2016 the title fight fizzles out around assen, and then jorge's off into the competitive wilderness himself at first ducati then honda. and with dovi, you've got the obvious problem is that the seasons are in the wrong order. dovi was a serious title threat... but only in the first year of that rivalry, aka 2017. and only for part of that season! at the start of the year, it was really vinales marc was focused on - hence badgering him in pre-season testing - and it really took quite a while for marc and dovi to establish themselves as the two title contenders. as a season, it most closely resembles the chaos of 2006 - which, again, didn't lead to any drama between valentino and hayden in part because it just wasn't as focused on two protagonists. after that, dovi has a poor start to 2018, and by 2019 marc's just flattening everyone. it's basically like if you switched 2003 and 2004 for sete/valentino (though obviously sete's 2003 is a fair bit more competitive than dovi's 2018)... you needed the proper title fight when they were already established rivals. real take - valentino in marc's situation most likely doesn't start a feud with dovi in 2017-19 for the simple reason that he just does not need to. valentino's feuds typically come from some sense of competitive necessity, or at the very least convenience... casey is the strongest example here, where valentino behaves as closely as he ever has to a rational actor and only really escalates that feud when it makes perfect sense to do so. with dovi, given how little threat he posed in 2018-19 and especially presuming there's not a preexisting interpersonal relationship that can be twisted by the injection of competitive stakes (as there was with sete)... why bother?

this, to me, is really the main explanation for prime!marc's feud record. he runs into versions of the aliens that all eventually drop off competitively, and doesn't have to face the same level from them as a collective as he would have in say 2008-09. he doesn't have to face casey. and his sete equivalent is just not as much of a competitive threat as sete was beyond the first year of that rivalry. feuds do need something to get them going - and generally, competing against the same guy across multiple seasons, feeling genuinely threatened by them, is one of the most common and important preconditions. the second alien-related factor is how the aliens themselves had changed. again, we're missing casey... and then with jorge and dani, well, they'd definitely mellowed from where they were at c. 2006-08. there's a few reasons for this. firstly, they grew up. just a little. it's been known to happen. secondly, you do have to mention the sic factor... discussed a bit here and I don't really want to go into too much depth about it, but obviously it does make a difference that jorge and especially dani had gone through this experience where they'd essentially been feuding with another rider who then died. inevitably, that will have played into how they reacted to marc. thirdly, this is a topic for another post but... jorge and dani (and casey) had become pretty determined in 2011-12 not to give the media and fans what they were so desperately yearning for (drama) - in an act of generational solidarity against the concept of beef. it was a bit of a reaction against how they felt constantly misinterpreted by fans and media, as well as essentially being quite contrarian about being incessantly called 'boring' all the time... and a fuck you to valentino and his supporters in the fanbase + media specifically by having things be more civil between the three of them than they had been in times past (plus how they rejected any sort of hard riding). all this means marc has the misfortune to run into versions of the aliens who are actually very much trying not to start feuds. I mean, even valentino wasn't really out to start feuds, it just sort of ended up happening... it's way harder to start a feud with 2013!jorge than it is with 2008!jorge - and the two major jorge feuds that still flare up past 2013 are one where there's already significant history (like, say, jorge thinking dovi was already attempting to 'undermine his morale' when they were both teenagers)

the other situational factor is the time marc has spent in the competitive wilderness. marc was 27 when his arm injury happened. as a point of comparison, that's the age valentino was in 2006 - by which point he has had two major feuds plus a couple more minor ones. in a way, right, you can say marc wasn't doing that badly at that stage... marc is now 31, aka valentino's age in 2010. by then, valentino had added two more major feuds to his collection; he's quite productive in his late twenties you have to say. but marc obviously hasn't been in a situation where he's going to be getting embroiled in great rivalries... the only title he'd been fighting for before this year was champion of crashes. you're less likely to start feuds when you're in the competitive wilderness - there's just not any point and marc quite frankly had better things to worry about. the thing about 2019 is that at the time, people did feel like marc might have been setting up some juicy rivalries... the most common names talked about back then were rinsy and especially fabio. now, as it turned out, rinsy was outshone by his teammate in the one year suzuki was in the title fight, so that probably wouldn't have become a big thing regardless of marc's situation - but fabio... well, I don't know if I think marc would've started feuding with him necessarily, but you'd at least hope for some flavour of interesting rivalry. admittedly, you were giving marc a bit of an unfairly difficult task here, given the age gap equivalent rival for valentino is casey. again, look me in the eyes and tell me you think fabio quartararo isn't harder to start a feud with than casey stoner. starting a feud with casey is easy mode. give me fifteen minutes trapped with him in a conveniently broken lift and I bet you I could make him my lifelong enemy

still, crucially we never got to see that play out. and without the injury, marc would've already had several years to fight pecco and even jorge martin on equal-ish terms, which again just isn't an opportunity he's had until this year. those were some of his prime feud-starting years stolen from him... though also, speaking of casey vs fabio - I mean, that's the other thing, isn't it. whether you want to blame it on this generation of rider personalities or overly professionalised upbringing or the social media climate or whatever, the general willingness to feud with other riders has massively declined in the paddock. even insulting your fellow riders is pretty rare. casey thought the media and fans were too harsh to him back in the day, to put it mildly, but in a lot of ways it'd be far worse for him now. (incidentally, y'know the whole mir apologising to marc thing - can you imagine casey doing that? the correct answer is no, obviously not, how is that even a question, are you insane.) and even that generation was seen as a milder assortment of characters than valentino's lot, who in turn were at times considered oddly friendly by the guys who came before them. there are no max biaggi's in today's motogp. sete failing to threaten to punch valentino after jerez 2005 was considered disappointingly polite by a lot of the media. It Was A Different Time. it's not just that marc's feud rate is flagging - it's the case for everyone, which is how you get acosta offering to try and spice things up between the current title contenders. marc does need someone to feud with, and it doesn't help if they're all being so awfully conflict-averse

so, that's the marc defence case. marc just hasn't had enough plausible opportunities to start proper feuds, and you can't really judge him by how situational factors keep conspiring against him on that front. now, I think that is probably the main reason why it's been quite so dire for him... but still, it's also not quite satisfying to pretend like marc and valentino are quite literally identical in that regard, that they would have ended up with exactly the same profile of feuds in each other's positions. admittedly I don't really believe valentino would have had a radically different number of feuds in marc's career timeline... jorge is if anything the most proactive of the lot, often not even really needing much competitive justification to escalate a feud. still, you do suspect that there are differences in marc's approach that would always make him a little less likely to come up with these high quality feuds. one factor is motivation - valentino generally needs to get more creative in order to motivate himself to win than marc does, cf how much more flighty he gets when things are going well for him. valentino has long had a reputation for using his rivals to motivate himself, building them up as enemies and so on. there's rivals for which this is more the case than others, and it's a bit more complicated than that... but in general, valentino really benefits from these feuds, and is more reliant on them than marc is. marc can also use his rivals to motivate himself, cf 'his record at misano'. the most egregious example is 2019, where he comes in off the back of two back-to-back last lap defeats, hops onto the rear tyres of the yamaha's for much of that weekend until eventually he has that spat with valentino in qualifying that conveniently gives him the fire to reverse the recent trend and snatch victory away from poor fabio on the last lap. that's probably the most proactive he's been about it, and it's the kind of enterprising spirit I'm always happy to see in my riders. but in general... he does also just seem pretty content to reel off victories without any added source of motivation. valentino needs to jump through a few more hoops to get himself going, which happen to be very feud-inducing hoops. marc is far more capable of showing up and just doing the business

there's a related factor here that's a bit more nebulous and it's just... how they go about winning, both races and titles. now, okay, obviously they're both aggressive riders - marc notably so for the entirety of his career, while valentino got more aggressive after leaving honda and having to compensate for a bike disadvantage (having already been a menace in the lower classes). generally marc is the more aggressive rider, with valentino a little happier to pick and choose his moments and only escalating when he really feels he has to. similar peaks, lower baseline of aggression. that being said, valentino relied on one-on-one duels a lot more in winning his titles than marc did. marc's biggest strengths in winning his titles was a consistent and relentless pace advantage over the opposition, where he was able to score higher on his bad days than they were on theirs. his wins were generally more likely to be dominant than valentino's were (though it is admittedly quite hard to tell at times whether valentino was really riding anywhere close to 100% in his honda days) - and the momentum swings in his title fights tend to be because his opponents had made errors. valentino kinda needed the 1 vs 1 thing to be clicking for him to win his titles, because that's what his whole game is built on. 2004 plays out completely differently if valentino doesn't win any number of close duels - obviously welkom, but perhaps even more importantly the mugello/catalunya/assen stretch of the season he entered with a points deficit and left the new championship leader (with his relationship with sete rather worse for wear to boot). 2008 is obviously the poster child for this, as to a slighter lesser extent is 2009, which has been covered elsewhere on this blog and will be again in the near future... marc, by contrast, kinda thrives on losing close duels against his title rivals that are worrying to them because he was so close to victory at his weaker tracks. you can cite various mugello and austria and qatar races here... again, has been discussed elsewhere, but the point is that it's just a bigger part of valentino's game than it is for marc. and if so much in terms of stakes and championship momentum is attached to these single races... well, that's actually pretty much the perfect trigger point for starting feuds. by the latter half of his prime, marc kinda knew he could get away with losing some of these fights, especially against dovi (vs how he allegedly was 'angry' after the rins defeat and really relished the triumphalism of beating poor sweet fabio). valentino could extremely not afford to lose some of these duels if he wanted to win the title, and often ended up souring his relationships with his competitors in the process of winning. again, laguna 2008 is the poster child here - valentino's behaviour in this race is far more significant in determining that relationship's trajectory than him being 'mildly chilly' towards casey for the preceding one and a half years

the last factor kinda feels like the most obvious one: valentino often was just more proactive in his shit stirring, especially off-track. marc tends to do a lot of his psychological warfare on the track, which is discussed in more detail in the mind games post but is obviously reflected in stuff like stalking specific riders endlessly in practise and qualifying. valentino does plenty of on-track psychological warfare and he certainly wasn't averse to the odd towing shenanigans (just ask casey), but he was also more prepared to just fire a few shots in the media. he's capable of more subtlety than he's sometimes given credit for, had a pretty good feel for escalation... which can actually be quite frustrating, because at times you have to take his rivals at their word when they say he was being mean about them in the media - not always easy to find actual examples of that! he'd also get creative about how to exert pressure on his rivals - for which one of the more obvious examples would be getting proxies like his crew chief jb to do the mudslinging on his behalf. still, it shouldn't be too controversial to say he's more likely to attack his rivals directly in the media than marc is - who ramps up the subtlety all the way and usually just gestures vaguely in the direction of saying something that could be a snide remark... but isn't really direct enough to actually be a clear attack. now, if you set baby casey or baby jorge on the case, notoriously sensitive characters that they were, there'd still be a decent chance they take offence at the sort of thing marc says about his rivals... but as it stands, marc clearly prefers this less obvious approach, and this current lot isn't going to call him out on it. and yes, obviously sepang 2015 and the repercussions thereof will have strengthened marc's conservatism in this regard, a wish to avoid any further drama paired with a desire to show that valentino was the problem in that particular rivalry by avoiding any further feuds. and if marc's less likely to be proactive in media mudslinging and is also less likely to find himself in the sort of race that burns interpersonal relationships... well, it's not surprising he'd be less predisposed to feuds, is it

there's some other stuff we could bring in here, like valentino's tendency to play an active role in narrativising his career that fortunately just happens to also makes feuds more likely (topic for another post currently in the drafts). you could talk about how marc is less sensitive than jorge or especially casey, how he's more likely to brush off criticisms and then commit himself to on-track revenge. how he has a lot of low level beef with other riders that has just never quite been given the space or opportunity to grow into a proper feud. how jorge is more impulsive and is likelier to start fights immediately in response to a perceived slight, versus marc who is far likelier to bottle things up. in general, though, I still put most of the blame on circumstance. while valentino is definitely the frontrunner in the feuding department, there's no single correct way to go about starting your feuds - and jorge, for instance, has really showcased an alternative approach that can also yield some very positive results. marc should have been given more opportunities to figure out his own way to start up multiple narratively complex rivalries/feuds. he has some traits that are well-suited to a strong profile of rivalries and feuds, from his on-track aggression to his tendency to play games in the media to his ruthlessness to his ability to take defeats personally and feel threatened by rivals. the towing thing. his behaviour as a teammate. how uncompromising his approach towards riding is. there's a lot of strong stuff there, it just hasn't been given the chance to shine as much as you'd like

all that being said... he still has time! there's no reason to believe next year won't give us what we hope for in that regard, as long as that's a reasonably competitive title fight. and I don't think it'd be fair to pecco and marc to attribute any heated rivalry between them completely or even mostly on valentino - they have enough reasons unrelated to him to desperately want to beat each other. if anything, the valentino factor is unfortunately more likely to make them both a bit more restrained in that regard, wary of the drama of it all... but here's hoping! and they've already built up a bit of history now, some significant on-track encounters - I'd say that in an ideal world they've done more than enough prep work for them to get to feud territory next year. the other obvious name is pedro, a charmingly genre aware child with what a rather pronounced scepticism towards marc specifically, who feels like he would not only be up for a feud with marc but has quite possibly already game-planned what that feud would look like. hey, you never know, maybe I will successfully barter away my soul to finally make yamaha competitive again... let's see if we can try to get that depressed frenchie interested in some proper rivalries once he's back in the game. hopefully, marc still has a few competitive years ahead of him - and hopefully, he'll also get some help from the other side to get something narratively compelling going. I believe in him! remember, valentino pissed away two entire years in his early thirties but still managed to start his most long-lasting and emotionally devastating feud at the age of 36. isn't that inspiring? it's never too late to burn bridges. I for one hope marc still has something rancid in store for us